My mom recently described me as someone who “always needs something big going on.” She was referring to the fact that I’m about to put two houses on the market while also simultaneously planning two parties, my 5th wedding anniversary and my daughter’s 16th birthday.
My mom’s comment got me thinking about how I do love the hustle and bustle. It gives me focus and purpose, and oh, how I love seeing a plan come together. And if I’m being completely honest here, it also keeps me from getting bored.
This past Wednesday, for instance, was my first day back in Lexington after a week in Orlando and I had a longer than usual list of things to do because it’s my daughter’s birthday week. I got it all done and still found time to train so I was admittedly feeling a bit superior. Like I had won some contest or something. I know. I know. But, maybe some of you reading this can relate to how good it feels to draw a thick line through that last item on your list?
It’s a sickness. I have issues. Hell, the “thrill” doesn’t even last long because I will immediately flip the page in my book and start my new list for the following day.
None of this is new to me. I’ve recognized my own crazy long ago. It’s not new to my family and friends either so why am I writing about it? It’s because I’ve come to the conclusion that these same personality quirks may explain why I’ve been feeling indecisive and, at times, even bored with my training. It’s been almost 5 months since our last meet and I don’t know if and when there will be another. People are curiously inquiring, and I don’t have an answer for them. I don’t have a plan and I don’t like it.
I don’t know what’s next. I am unsure if I even want to return to the competitive platform. There is a part of me that likes the idea of moving away from performance based training. But, then there are days when I’m itching to start working towards a new deadlift PR. I’m all over the place mentally. But, fortunately for me, my coach can listen to me tell him the exact opposite of what I told him the day before and he never waivers. He listens and then he puts me to work.
Oh, wait. I know what my plan should be:
- Stop over thinking.
- Train smart.
- Figure out the rest later or as Jim likes to say, “Let’s see what happens.”