Anyone with a competitive personality understands how much it sucks to be sidelined. It’s hard to sit by and watch your teammates compete and enjoy the thrill and satisfaction of the competition. Even though I’m not really sidelined that’s the way I’ve been feeling. It’s hard to go to the gym (especially on deadlift day) and workout side by side with my teammates yet only be lifting 50% of my maxes. I watch them add the weight up and get pumped up for their next lift and struggle through the last few inches of a pull or a squat, veins bulging, muscles quivering-and then the satisfaction of having done it. I feel like a hungry dog with jowls dripping hoping for just a little piece of bacon. I crave that feeling of anticipating the next heavy lift and the feeling of accomplishment when you finish it. I know logically that the alterations in my workouts are for a good reason (my little bun appreciates it, at least she better) and necessary, but that doesn’t really make it any easier. Rolling over in bed is already more difficult because my core strength is NOT the same as it was, however, my competitive nature still wants to be in the heat of the competition and pushing my limits. It’s hard to give your entire body over to something and someone else. For someone who has spent the last two years using exercise and nutrition to gain the health, and of course, physique that I desired, it’s hard to lose some of the control over what is happening to my body.
I know that we have all felt this way at some point and all for different reasons. Whether it’s an injury, pregnancy, stress in general or something else that limits our ability to train how we want, it’s never fun to feel like we are missing out. There will always be times in our lives when we need to put other things before our desire to compete and train hard. Recovery from stress or injury, temporary modifications for pregnancy-they all have one thing in common-they’re temporary. I’m not going to be watching from the sidelines forever, right now it is my priority to take care of myself and my growing baby. I will continue to train and lift within my limits to stay in the best shape possible. Sadly, that doesn’t mean 300-pound deadlifts and 200-pound squats. That’s what next spring is for-I’ll be putting my baby girl on the sidelines to watch her mom get back into shape and ready for competition. My goal is to beat my 303-pound deadlift and 220-pound squat in competition next May, 5-months post baby…too ambitious? Nah, worth a try! For now I am just happy to still be getting under the bar and doing the lifts that I love.
This was my 303-pound deadlift, a great feeling! One day I can show my daughter this video and tell her that I was breaking my own record while unbeknownst to me, I was pregnant with her. Strength is a beautiful thing.