Head Case

Jen —  April 21, 2014 — 8 Comments

I love training with my fellow miss fits, but sometimes training in a group is not so good for my head. A conversation came up a few weeks ago during squat night where one of the girls couldn’t remember what her squat PR was from her last meet. I immediately told her it was 231. How and why would I know that? I can’t remember what I ate for dinner two nights ago. It’s because I find myself constantly comparing myself to the other girls when we train. It’s almost a subconscious thing, and it’s probably not healthy. There was a time when I would have compared body parts, like “damn, I wish I had arms like Anne, legs like Emily, or a butt like Suzanne”. Now I’m a tad more secure in my own skin, but my focus has shifted to the amount of weight on the bar. Lift envy. I may have just traded one negative neurotic trait for another.

Of these, I should really focus on the weight on my bar instead comparing myself to others

Of these, I should really focus on the weight on my bar instead comparing myself to others

Don’t get me wrong, I am always happy for the other girls when they do well. We all are extremely supportive, and are each other’s biggest cheerleaders. Maybe the comparison issue is part of my competitive nature or perhaps it’s a “female” thing. Whatever it is, bless Jim’s heart for being the voice of reason and knowing how to encourage us to focus on the positives. We are lucky because when these issues come up, we are able to talk about it freely. All of us have had a less than stellar personal lifting night and then someone else hits a PR or does their previous max for reps. It’s an “I’m so happy for you, but why am I sucking so bad” kind of moment.

Even though I’m constantly comparing myself to these other strong ladies, I wouldn’t trade training with them for anything. They understand this whole comparison weirdness I have. Here’s to hoping I can move past this lift envy just like I did with body part envy without picking up a new neuroses in the meantime.

Thankfully these ladies are a constant source of encouragement and support

Thankfully these ladies are a constant source of encouragement and support

8 responses to Head Case

  1. Renae

    You ALL inspire me constantly!!! I feel so lucky to be able to train with you. I have learned so much!

  2. I’m so glad to know this isn’t just me. I too used to be very uncomfortable in my own skin when I first started lifting, and have since gained confidence and buried that bad mentality. But, just like you, I have gained an entirely new one: lift envy. It’s private and quiet, but it’s definitely there. Especially when it’s someone I’m close to outside the gym. I want them to do well, but my ego is jaded when they hit numbers close to or higher than mine. Thankfully they are forgiving too; not sure what i would do if not. Thank you for posting this article, and thank you for your honesty.

  3. Jen

    Thanks Sara! You said that so much better than I did 😉

  4. I LOVE your honesty! All of you ladies are so honest and it’s so refreshing. I wish I could train with you all occasionally but I would definitely get “lift envy” 🙂

  5. Yes, Yes, Yes!!! I used to compare my body to my neighbor’s, then I stopped doing that because A. I learned to love mine (although I still do compare my biceps pic to hers. LOL) and B. I realized we both have different body types!!!

    But boy, let her post something on FB about her lifts and I am ALL over it (in my head) comparing my numbers to hers! Definitely part of my competitive nature!

    • Jen

      That whole body comparison thing is a killer! Kudos to you for moving past it. Glad I’m not the only one out there that does this!

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