I’d like to start out saying the purpose of this post is not to have a pity party. We don’t typically share footage of failed lifts. Not only because they don’t happen that often, but because we all love lifting and want to encourage more women to try. This is only meant to show that despite having an incredible coach and giving 100% during training, anybody can have a bad day. It’s not always unicorns and rainbows.
This past training cycle leading up to the meet was pretty darn awesome. My lifts felt great. I was lifting my openers easily and I felt totally confident about making new PRs. So, why then, when it came to the one day where all the training really mattered did I turn out a sucktastic performance? We’ve eluded to the mental aspect of competition, and my experience is the case in point.
I don’t really like having my friends or family come to meets. It may be weird, but it’s just the way I am. They all know this and it’s fine. During squat warm ups I discovered an extended family member in the audience. To say we have a complicated and volatile history is the nicest way I can describe our relationship. I was beyond surprised and shocked to say the least. Actually, I became completely rattled.
Squats are the first lift, and typically we plan our third attempt to be a PR. My three lifts were good, but there was a mix up with my numbers and my third attempt was the same as my previous max. No worries, because if you are setting records in an open division (no previous records) you are able to do a fourth attempt. I was repeating a previous try at 231 from nationals. I was red lighted for depth at that time, but I was confident I could move the weight since I had done it before. This time I stalled in the bottom and couldn’t get out of the hole. WTF?
Bench is the second lift and the one with which I struggle the most. My first two attempts were good, but my third for 110 (I know…it’s highly unimpressive) was a hot mess and my butt came off the bench which disqualified the lift.
By this point, I was less than pleased with myself, but deadlifts were next. We love deads and tend to all do really well. This was my favorite lift and my time to set a killer PR. WRONG! My first two attempts were okay, but kinda felt heavy and a little off. My third attempt would’ve been a PR at 330 and I didn’t even get it off the floor…it didn’t budge…not one inch.
If I had keys to a car I probably would’ve bolted right then and there; hit the closest liquor store and driven home at the speed of light to crawl under a rock. Super pissed and disappointed with myself would pretty much be an understatement. I don’t blame anybody but myself for my epic fail. Who knows what would’ve happened had I not had a surprise spectator; maybe it was going to be a bad day regardless. As one of the other miss fits told me, she thought I got “Jedi mind f**ked”. That may be the case, but if so, I allowed that to happen.
In the two weeks since the meet I’ve had time to put on my big girl panties, reflect, and try to spin some positive out of this. I have to remember why I’m doing this in the first place, which is because I love moving heavy shit. I love training with these girls and I love our coach. It’s freaking awesome to have new lifters join us and discover this same passion.